KAAL: THE JUNGLE MOVIE
My friend Q and I sipping beers at The Lounge Bar after watching Kaal
They are pretty depressed.
Q: Man what a Jungle Movie.
M: Funny Jungle Movie mate.
Producers: Karn Johar and Shah Rukh Khan
Q: Why did Karan Johar put such a heavy star cast for a Jungle Movie?
M: Agree, Karan could have given roles to up n coming actors n actresses and saved some production costs. But then who would have seen this movie?
Q: Yeah I got carried away with the stars cast, Ajay Devgan, the mobike man John, the Oberio dude, Lara and the gangsters moll Esha. I am a big fan of Ajay n John, man.
M: Yeah, I got carried away with a review where the Director said he was inspired by the movie Sixth Sense. But no mobike man can act for nuts in a Jungle Movie. After Dhoom, I almost bought the Honda Unicorn mate. Wrote a review too. Did you read that one?
Q: Oh yes. Great review u wrote bout Dhoom and the Bike review too. But what will you write about Kaal?
M: Man I will write something and maybe earn some MS brownie points. Maybe I will regain my Star Writer status. Who knows?
Q: They kicked u out?
M: They did. Very humiliating, mate. Very humbling experience. Chalo….
The ITEM NUMBER
Q: Phew…..the opening item number with Shah Rukh Khan and Arora babe did not really rock. Anyway, was a good opener.
M: So now Shah Rukh Khan has come down to item numbers, that too for a Jungle Movie.
Q: The titles said Shah Rukh and Karan Johar jointly produced this movie.
A: They are gays, lovers, mate. That’s the market rumor.
Q: Who cares gay or not? Hum ko ullu banayaa.
M: Kids may like the movie. A movie shot in a Jungle, with a man eating tiger thrown in and some mysterious bhatakta aaatma. And tourists getting killed in unexplained ways.
Q: Yeah, good dense forests, suspense, murders, headless corpses. What else?
M: What else? Nothing. It is clear to me that none of the actors or actress could emote well in this Jungle environment.
Q: I guess, none of them had ever acted in Jungle Movie before. And it was obvious that all the star cast wanted to get the hell outta the jungle ASAP. The babes were not even dressed in Jungle safari suits. Lara and Esha were both wearing city clothes in the Jungle! Just to show their assets.
M: What assets? They showed their liabilities.
Q: You right man. All dead losses, lost in the jungle. No balance creditors. Paisaa barbaad. Chalo happens to the best of us sometimes.
M: Nahi yaar, paisaa itnaa to nahi barbaad. Picture to chal rahi hai naa. Barman, second round of beers please!
Q: Yeah, chalo movie nahi to beer sahi. The ambience here is great man. I will pay for the beers.
M: Cheers to that.
Depression in life is sometimes welcome. Mariner n Q hope for better times to come.
Al vidaa till the next review. Have a nice day friends.