There is no review for this new movie so I just decided to put it in Koi Mil Gaya section but this is really a review of Koi Hai. Koi Hai features Miss India 2003 announcer/tv star Aman Verma, Rinku Ghosh (Another tv girl), Shweta Menon (Miss India-Asia Pacific 94’ and a model and a dancer and an actress and a whatever).
Raj (Aman Varma) is married to Shefali (Rinku Ghosh), but he has a mistress: Lisa (Shweta Menon). Oh, how he loves Lisa! Poor Shefali sits at home and wonders wear her husband is (At some giant bungalow in the middle of nowhere where she enjoys drinking and swimming in the middle of the night, OF course!), but Raj starts the movie with an ultimatum from Lisa, and he invites her to move in the next day, as his Mrs. Raj.
Raj decides that if he wants the best of both worlds, then he must get rid of Shefali. You see, Raj’s father left all of his wealth in Shefali’s name because he thought Raj was nuts. (Gosh, why would he think that?) As Raj explains to us, ’The crazy need love, too!!!’ He can not divorce Shefali, because he wants all her money, but he can not live without Lisa! So he hires a hit man to kill Shefali that night, and as he hears her scream and comes back in, he finds that his hit man has been killed. Shefali claims that she did not do it - she just found him like that. As the story becomes more glorious, we overhear Shefali thinking to herself ’You must kill Raj, otherwise he will kill you!’
Of course, Raj is wondering what to do. He tries to suffocate her with a pillow, electrocute her, strangle her, and so forth, but she just WON’T die! Then we are introduced to Shefali’s hired gunman. Raj fights with him in the dark and he ends up dead as well. The two are on edge in front of each other at this point, until...Voila! Roop Kumar and Sonali Rathod, two singers, come to the door and claim their car broke down because of the bad weather. (It is clear out, but who knows). Of course, they sit down for five minutes to sing a song where Raj and Shefali remember their greatest moments together. Then they leave, and we see some more horrible dialogues, where they declare their love for one another. In 2 minutes, Shefali comes dressed as a bride, with mehndi and all, to relive those moments. Raj catches a glimpse of Lisa’s photo and decides he will ALLOW Shefali to enjoy him one more time before killing her. (’You are going to have to die, Shefali. You are the thorn separating me and Lisa!’)
At this point, you wonder whether they should kill each other or you just want to kill yourself. I won’t reveal the ending, but it gets more ridiculous than this.
The songs pop up out of nowhere and are as disgusting as possible. The acting reaches an all-time low. The dialogues are all done in some awful, awful attempt at poetry. I watched this by accident, needless to say, and had my handy finger on the fast-forward button through most of it.