There is something about a pair of jeans, which can’t be overshadowed by the advent of black suits, Patiala salwars, gypsy skirts and corporate attire. My last three days of the week are always reserved for the true blue denim and white shirts. Couple of days back I realized that too many hrs in the IT world has made by waistline too good to fit into my darling Levi’s. So after 9 yrs I decided to buy a new pair of Levi’s. Giving away my unfaded, unshrinkable, button down fly, blue Levi’s was as painful as saying goodbye to a pet. Anyway what has to be has to be.
Hooked to Levi’s, since my college days, I walked straight into an authorized showroom with a good amount of dough in my purse. Feeling so good that once again I will own a good trusting pair of blues. I smartly walked in and decided to look for one on my own, ignoring the "may I help u" brand, shop assistants. Soon the "blue bubble burst". I couldn’t find a single blue jean. The only colors on the shelves were, blackish gray, grayish black, grayish sky blue and a blackish blue. And some more colors which are somewhere between hex value -- #615F7E and #413649. Sorry folks working in IT graphics for 16 yrs, that’s the closest, I could get to describe the colors.
I looked around to see posters of anorexic white stick figures wearing the same colored jeans. Most of them had not even a hint of waist, hip or butt, but were desperately pouting from between frayed tresses and lowered lids, trying to look very hot and appealing. (Sexy is a word which is miles away from them). They didn’t really need the backup of a poster to hang on the wall. I am sure even the live models could have been stuck up on the wall with cello tape. Some other pairs looked as if someone accidentally dropped bleach or acid at all the wrong places, especially the seat, which resulted in white patches around the crotch.
I took a step back. There is something wrong here. I told my friend, “I don’t think I will get any size bigger than 26" here. I made my move to leave the store when the assistant rushed to me. "Is this an authorized showroom of Levi’s?” "Yes mam", came the reply, as if I could even hear a faint chest beating by the salesman, "You will get only authentic 5 pocket Levi’s here."
Afraid, that he might get into a rambling product description, eulogizing the company, I interrupted him, "I want a pair of blue jeans straight jeans with button down fly." "Sorry mam we don’t have button down flies any more. It’s out of fashion”, he added with a raised eyebrow and drooping mouth. What happened next was volley of Q & A. Waist – 28, Low or regular waist -- regular please, cut -- straight, sorry mam we have all in slight bootleg. What the heck! I hate bootlegs... anyway in Indian summer we don’t wear boots. I want only straight cut jeans.” Sorry mam, straight cuts are in low waist... “come-on young man I am not a model to parade my pierced navel. Finally after much haggling he pulled out a grayish sky jean that must have been the ugly duckling, cause it looked somewhat blue-er than gray.
The bottoms of the pants were as obnoxiously flappy as the ears of Jumbo the flying elephant. I was reduced to tears of disappointment. I want a pair of Levi’s, and it in itself is a fashion statement. I don’t want it to be a victim of the seasonal bouts of fashion fever.... Anyway, on insistence of my friend and the salesman I decided to wear it. The so called, ’regular waist’ was hardly reaching my waist. The heap of fabric around my feet looked like I was wearing Alibaba’s uncle’s Pajamas. With trepidation I came out to look into the full-length mirror... MOMMY I look like a flowerpot... no kidding I was looking like a bottom heavy "Pheelaawarrr Pautt". GAWD! Is this a pair of jeans or just a denim ’SHARARA’.
"Mam you are looking great. The fit is purrfect, feel the fabric."
That’s when I decided I must do something about it. To hell with fashion. I want a jeans which lasts the next decade. I will take a Levi’s and make it my fashion statement. I bought the pair and with a little help from a tailor and a pair of scissors it’s soon going to by “my” Levi’s. OK Mr. Strauss and descendants, what are you going to do about it?
Well that was my revenge and rebellion. I would not suggest the same kind of experiments to any body else who don’t have any skill in stitching like I do.
Some things I want to tell Levi’s
a) Not every jeans wearing woman is 18. Not all of us want to look sexy and hot in jeans, we have other ways. All the ads show girls, even the website link is for girls... well some girls grow up like we did. Those who wore Levi’s were 18, about 20 yrs back and even now they want to wear Levi’s, WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR THEM... NOTHING
b) Not every Indian woman is anorexic. When you venture into a market, where women have well-defined waists, butts and figures, then you should take into consideration that the jeans fits them well. If you don’t realize now, naturally other local "aware of the market needs" brands, will push you out in sales.
c) Please grow out of a backdated fashion of bootleg. Boots are never worn in Indian summer. In winters those who wear boots, or can afford to buy boots, like to show it off with a mini skirt. They won’t hide it under a pant, which is just a bigger version of a divided skirt or culottes.
d) I wear boots, but only when I go trekking twice every year. That’s when I need a good pair of Levi’s. That’s why I buy Levi’s cause I know it will last me 20 treks. I don’t want flappy undergrowth on my pants to make my treks cumbersome. THE BOOTLEG LEVI’S ARE ABOLUTELY NOT WALKER FRIENDLY.
e) I see the fashion blind, west-aping youngsters wearing these outdated flappers, gathering so much dirt and dust at the hem. In some cases the mud, cakes at the hem as the flappers sweep the Indian gullies.
F) Finally what is the idea of self-praising "authentic, Levi’s; authentic, Levi’s; ” all the time when you could not retain any of the authenticity in the actual cut & design. What is the use of giving the 5 pocket jeans when in other ways it’s not at all like the way it used to be designed in the first place? (I don’t need the 5th pocket anyway). There is no place to go look for an authentic Levi’s... it no longer has its appeal. At least not for the women I know who are above 28. This is the last time I bought one...