Hey all you pappus, jaggus, bittus of this world; hey all you Sehwag crazy janata out there, did you see Sehwag sizzle for Reliance? Dont you hear Sehwag calling out to his Ma on his Reliance? Dont you want to be like him? Dont you feel the adrenaline rush when you think of winning a match because of that magic SMS on your lovely Reliance?
And so while I sit under the shady tree watching the mad Najafgarh crowd rush into the Reliance store, I can’t help thinking about this whole fundamental thing called Communication. WHat is Communication? What is good communication? Who should you communicate with? How should you communicate? How desperate should one be to communicate? What should one say? And if your millions are burning to keep your communications business warm then what must you do to get a handsome return on investment?
Well, Reliance gave bat, pads and helmet (which he later threw away in disgust!) to Sehwag, to help answer all my questions thus -
What is Communication?
Communication is when Sehwag’s mother sends an SMS message to a random somebody in the crowd; who then ignores the message; but the kid next to him grabs his phone and runs onto the ground, dodges and outruns the cop, and flings the phone to Sehwag screaming ’’message for you’’. (Communication is when Sehwag knows enough english to understand ’’Message for you’’!)
What is good communication
Good communication is when Sehwag receives a SMS message with his mothers picture in the message (for sake of authenticity!) in the middle of the stadium. (if your message reaches IN SPITE of Reliance’s service then you’ve got good communication!)
Who should you communicate with?
You should communicate with your son, especially when your son forgets his cricket coaching lessons and tries to play airy-fairy shots to balls going wide of the off-stump! (communicate with anyone who can read hindi written in english script!)
How should you communicate?
You should communicate via SMS since Reliance phones are not very good for voice communication (crackling and breaking voices you know!); and you should remember to put your picture in the message. (since the stumps dont have a built-in phone yet, the only way is to make a kid fling the phone to the batsman!)
How desperate should one be to communicate?
You should be so desparate that you should track down a guy in a crowded stadium who has a reliance mobile phone. Get his number, send him a message. Get the kid next to him jump into the ground with the phone and throw it to the gloved hands of your son! (jump, scream, pump, do whatever. Just throw the SMS laden phone to somebody out there.)
What should one say?
If you are Sehwag’s mom, you should say ’’get the world into your fist’’. That will make a world of difference to your son; pump up his adrenaline, and make him smash the ball over the fence for a six, ala Javed Miandad! (lets play ball with the world!)
How to safegaurd your telecom millions?
Get a hundred people to lift Sehwag (hes not very light you know!) as he shouts ’’Ma’’ over the din of the crowd. (He has his mother to thank for his performance, no thanks to Reliance)
Moral
Have courage to communicate even if you are faced with a wall of silence called Reliance. Just Communicate and the lord will pass on your message!