Love it or loathe it but Ektaa kapoors sagas assault our senses every weekday for a couple of hours . I honestly admit I am no big fan and neither do I intend to be.I find them regressive , overly melodramatic , many a times utterly unbelievable.
Here are some of my observations that I need answers to ...Please oh please can someone tell me why ?
Mere paas ’’makeup’’ hai !!
They are made up during the Day they are made up in the dead of the night ... they are made up in sickness they are made up
in health ... they are made up in bad weather they are made up in good weather ... they are made up at home they are made up
in prison ..please do let me know where you can find makeup that never wears off ?
’’Kontract’’ing a disease
Why do the storylines almost always depict a joint family with large broods that have multi ’’k’’rore businesses ? And the sudden disappearances of the ’’K’’haracters to sign ’’k’’ontracts ?? Please tell me what kind of ’’k’’ontracts they are going to
sign ? Business ’’K’’ontracts ? , Building ’’K’’ontracts ? Legal ’’K’’ontracts ?
ahhh maybe its a ’’K’’ontract with Ektaa for another soap to torture us some more !
The bad apple vs good apple
Do all the families have to have a bad apple of a son and a good apple of a son ?.
Bad apple is always the womaniser we all love to hate.He has long upkempt hair with eyes that glint with maliciousness .He lies , cheats , rapes , maims and plots to kill everyone who rubs him the wrong way.
The mobile phone is his able accomplice.He also sometimes after a long and tiresome chase sequence in a barren landscape gets shot for his sins by his own maaaaaa who suddenly turns out to be an expert markeswoman who gets a slug spot on his iceblock of a heart with surprising ease.
Why cant we have a negative character who is not so over the top negative ?
The good apple is the son who every momma in the face of the earth wishes to have .He is a virtue of honesty, a selfless martyr of a simpleton who is hopelessly in love with the woman of his dreams.He also sometimes gets hit by a speeding car on
a bridge , falls into a river and is miraculously saved by good samaritans who happened to be at the right place at the right time .Somehow during all this he manages to disfigure his handsome face and gets a makeover that not only makes him look different it also makes him taller and stronger (did the doctors mix boost in his saline drops ?).
Why cant we have a positive character who is not so over the top positive ?
’’Woh’’ ladki hai kahaaan ????
She is always the one who had loved and lost and now is seething for sweet revenge and wants to get her ol’ man back
She is the ’’other’’ woman who puts a spoke in the wheel of everything so much so that every opposition party in India want her to join thier party
She is so fond of garish makeup and loud accessories that her makeup artists draw inspiration from Dracula and Frankenstein
She can contort her face to such extreme expressions that jim carrey lost out to her in the 2005 annual twist your face awards
She can actually make plotting a disaster look so easy , last I heard Al Quaida had made her chief of operations
why do we have to put up with this ?
Maa tujhe salaaam !!
She is the ultimate martyr who would give Mother Teresa a BIG ’’k’’omplex if she were alive.
She has shock absorbers that are stronger than a volvo truck.
She is so good at multitasking that Microsoft wants to embed her in thier next version of Windows after changing the name of the Operating System to ’’K’’idkiyaan.
She is the only woman who has a direct phone a friend hotline to God and sometimes even he pales in ’’K’’omparison to her.
She is so forgiving that the jews were compelled to seek her advice to forgive what Hitler did to thier ’’K’’lan.
She can make frequent trips to prison and the courthouse that she has her very own frequent flier ’’k’’oupon.
She has such nerves of steel that NASA have planned to line thier next space shuttle’s fuel tank with her nerve tissue !
Are serial moms always made in heaven ?
’’Baa’’ Baa black sheep , have you many lives ?
She is the proverbial cat with nine lives she somehow keeps getting old but never out.
Himalaya Herbals have produced an anti ageing remedy with her DNA
She can spend day in and day out cooped up in her spotless clean room reading the Baghvad Geetha over and over again that she has it memorised by now
She is the ATM of the family - Advice Teller Machine !! who vends free advice 24/7 at the shed of a tear.
Why cant Baa be a mere mortal like our Baas ?
Well I really dont expect these questions to be answered they were all rhetoric but its sad to see such trash being telecasted in the name of entertainment and even worse to see them raking in the TRPs.
When is Indian Televison going to come of age ?