Australian TV channels have an affably brusque way of announcing upcoming programs. One Friday, an announcer proclaimed thus: ’’Next, take a crash course in backstabbing. Survivor:Guatemala is up next.’’ I mean, with a catch phrase like that, who’d dare switch channels? So, yours truly stayed glued in his seat; only to understand and appreciate the art of backstabbing for purely entertainment and educational purposes. Honest.
The drama that unfolded that day, much like any other day in the survivor heartland, was nothing short of instructive. Instructive that there is no immediate danger of extinction of the human race for want of survival skills in adverse conditions, like, for example, a lack of million dollars in the bank account. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a few centuries of culture and cozy comforts through modernization has not, I can firmly attest, blunted away eons of instinct shaped by evolution in the wilderness.
For those of you that are yet to catch up with the latest ... uh ... ummm ... cultural revolution ... that is reality television, here’s the scoop. Survivor, the brain-child of Mark Burnett, a British-American TV producer, is a reality TV series where 16-18 contestants compete for a prize of million dollars and some prime-time TV notoriety. They camp for five-and-a-half weeks, smack dab in the middle of nowhere, and depend almost entirely on what’s available locally for survival. Once every two/three days, one of the contestants is voted out of the camp by the rest. You win and become the ’’survivor’’, if you successfully outlast everyone else.
As helpful as ever, it is my duty to list down useful tips to all the future survivors out there. What skills do we need? For starters, we will eat anything, even if it looked like something that the cat just brought in. At times, including the cat that brought it in. Mind you, that’s all just for starters; we aren’t even talking about the main course here. Then, we will be quick to blame everyone else for mistakes at the first opportunity. Even quicker to offer excuses and cover-ups for our own. We will also complain loud and silly about the rest, including those we just hobnobbed with. Especially those. We will form cliques, and solemnly vow not to vote against each other. Until the next voting time that is. That’s just in the first week. Then, things get worse.
Of course, all of these is part of the game, lest we begin to doubt our benign selves. As is a million dollars and some much needed TV fame. No, that does not convey the real spirit of the challenge, I hear you say. Of course, not. There’s also the rights to a biography later.
My cynicism notwithstanding, Survivor is a very popular TV series, and is solely responsible for producer Mark Burnett’s entry into American TV hall of fame. It is only natural to suggest that all this success must mean that they must be doing something right. But success, as a virtue by itself, is often very misleading. More so, when we are discussing American TV.
[N.B.: The final episode of Survivor:Guatemala aired about a week ago (both in the US and Australia), and so, you are a bit late if you want to watch it now. But given its success, I’ll be surprised if they didn’t come up with more of Survivor in the upcoming seasons.]