Mind you... not in any particular order. Didn’t want to be unfair to any of our dear celebs.
Abhishek Bachchan: So, yes, he does a decent job as the Lallan of Yuva or the Shankar of Sarkar. In fact, he used to be one of my favorites after I watched his performance in Refugee. But did he really have to try and ’’glamorize’’ himself? Now either it’s trying to drool at someone’s Kajra in B&B or giving the audiences sudden migraine in Salaam Namaste or even donning the whole hip-hopping attitude in Bluffmaster, he just seems out of place. Funny thing is, he actually does get popular doing them.
Mallika Sherawat: She’s sultrous, she sheds her clothes and she smooches her heroes. Oh yeah? Big Deal!! She appeared in a blink-and-you’re-gone segment in The Myth and the whole of India was raving about it. Makes you wonder why is Bollywood is SO starved for international attention.
Aishwarya Rai: She attracts both positive and negative press without doing one decent role in the past few years. Sure, she’s beautiful. Sure, she’s fair at acting. And, sure, she’s going phoren. But do we really have to laud or alternatively bash Ms. Rai so much when all she’s really doing are either movies for Indian directors based in foreign countries or Foreign movies with Indian themes or Foreign movies with Foreign themes and a little know director?
Priyanka Chopra: Leggy, lascivious, glamorous you say? Yeah... yeah... I never see performance in that list. After showing that ’’she’s an animal’’ , her popularity boomed and exploded. But, hey, she’s every guy’s dream come true... so why should they have an ’’aitraaz’’.
Yash Chopra: Fluffly, candyfloss, mushy entertainment... oh yeah, I’m getting diabetes. His earlier movies were actually high on the emotional quotient and low on the super-chapstick-gloss quotient and it made for pure drama watch. But now... shudders ’’He’s the Yash, He’s the Chopra, Rockstar, Superstar’’
Emraan Hashmi: He’s one lucky dude. He can be called cute and hot by many. He gets paid to smooch his ladies on screen. So what if his movies don’t really do that well, the music in them sells like hot cakes. And he basically has to sleepwalk through the same roles in every movie and he’s the media favorite.
Himesh Reshammiya: Ashiq Banaya Aapne was a trendsetter and a breakthrough. But now everytime I turn on my TV, I hear Mr. Reshammiya screeching through my speakers. Hey, it’s good to hear his voice and great to hear his music once in a while. But barraged with it every second week is getting a little tiresome. Take a break... and shave off that fugly beard.
Sanjay Leela Bhansali: Don’t get me wrong... I really do respect his direction. I just don’t understand his hype. Devdas was HIIIIIIGH on 40 crore worth of lavish sets but LOW on substance. Black would have been mindblowing cinema... if only it hadn’t been, and I quote, ’’inspired’’ by a Hollywood movie.
Ekta Kapoor: (well, not exactly Bollywood, but mehh close) GRRRR!!! ’Nuff said! I don’t know what worries me more... that Ekta makes such extremely melodramatic, nonsensical, s(l)oppy serials parading as dramas or that she continuously rakes TRPs week after week, month after month and year after year.
Salman Khan: Apart from ’’poongie bajaaoing’’ in most of his comedies, Salman has rarely deviated away to give a noteworthy performance. Yes, there was Tere Naam and the recent Kyon Ki, but those are so scattered and far in between. Not to mention, he gets media attention as easily as you and I get our groceries. The bad boy image just catapults him into peoples’ hearts and they are ready to vandalize, protest and perform rites for his well being. Truly fascinating...