I got the Idea for the structure of the review from an article I read in a magazine (or was it a website?). Anyway, I didn’t mean to indulge in plagiarism, but I thought it would be more humorous if I wrote the article in this style.
I go to the cinema to see yaadein. Guess who I meet there ? Yup, Subhash Gai. I decide to interview him to find out more about his latest ad, I mean film.
Me(M) : Hello Mr. Gai.
Subhash Gai (S) : Who are you ?
M: I’m a fan of yours.
S: Wow, a real fan!
M: Can I ask you a few questions, if you don’t mind?
S: Sure, go ahead.
The movie starts., but the theatre isn’t quite full yet. You can see the worried expression on his face
M: Isn’t it kind of empty for a 2nd week film ?
S: All my films are slow starters . You’ll see, it’ll pick up soon.
M: Like Taal ?
S: Exactly.
M: Didn’t that do better business outside India ?
S: I make my films mainly for NRIs.
M: About the story. Why about a NRI father, who returns to India along with his daughters , but still goes back to London to help arrange his friend’s son’s marriage ?
S: You see, I make my films for NRIs. They like to see the traditional Indian way of life, so I had to shoot in India.
M: Wouldn’t it have been better I f you had stuck to one location, maybe London ?
S: NRIs have been to London, they want to see India.
M: Why didn’t you stick to India?
S: Indians have already seen India, they want to see London.
Interesting part of the movie comes up
M: What an emotional moment.....what’s that coke keychain doing there ?!!?
S: It’s an essential part of Jackie’s character’s persona.
M: Hey! Coke bottles ! Lots of them! Why are they filling up the screen ?
S: Hey, I have to make a profit on the film .
M: Don’t you make that by selling tickets ?
S: ( visibly disturbed)well...... Hey look ! A song is on !
M: How come you dumped AR Rahman and decided to use Anu Malik ?
S: You see Anu Malik makes more family oriented music.
M: Yeah right! .... Hey look an ad for a dotcom company !
S: Keep them producers happy !
M: Look , it’s you !
S: I feel ’’inspired’’ by Hitchcock. They say imitation is the best form of flattery.
M: (muttering under my breath) Hitchcock should sue.........
M: The movie seems to have been released in a hurry.
S: What makes you say that ?
M: You seem to have overlooked some flaws.
S: Like ?
M: The signboard says ’’ Dangerous Animals : Keep off Island’’.
S: So...
M: Why do they still go there for a party ?
S: They are young, adventurous and Uninhibited!
M; Another thing. Jackie’s wife is supposed to be close to death...
S: SO....
M: How come she could still talk ?
S: Err...Love is a powerful motivator.
M: Same thing with Hritik. One moment he’s near death, and the next he’s alive and well and ......
S: What Happened?
M: Another ad !
S: Those darn producers!
The rest of the movie passes without much incident, except for a couple of ads
M: Looks like the climax is coming up.
15 minutes later....
M: Why isn’t it ending ?
S: Well I had to make it as long as possible.
M: Finally, its over!
S: How did you like it ?
M: It was okay.
S:( Picks up mobile, dials a number) We finally got a good opinion. Get the cameras over here now. It’ll make a great ad!
M: Thanks Mr. Gai , but I have to go now.
S: Wait son , Have a coke, on me!
The End